Monday, February 23, 2009
You know you're ripe when....
1) Your belly skin turns numb, and has way too many veins popping up to count
2) You have resorted to the maternity clothes you had previously bought "on accident" that you never wore before because you swam in them, only to find them "perfect" now, and the only thing that comes close to covering your enormous belly.
3) You are wearing jeans to work because you only have one pair of maternity "work" pants that even remotely fit and you cannot stomach wearing them EVERY day of the week, (maternity clothes makers OBVIOUSLY were off of work right at 36 weeks, and pretty much ignored that last month of growth, I'm convinced!)
4) You are in the hospital, (at work,) and find yourself getting paged overhead much more than you ever had before, only to find out it is because nurses and docs now "notice you more" because of the famous belly
5) Every conversation starts out with, "you're still here?", or "how many do you have in there anyways?"
6) Modesty is out the window and you find yourself walking around the house without pants on, just because the two pairs of comfy pants you own are in the wash.
7) Certain body parts are taking sizes that you never dreamed of, (and frankly some of which you never really wanted,) but it is overshadowed by your famous belly.
8) You pee, minimum, 8 times a day.
9) Sweets rule your world, and frankly, at this point you give in way too easily because you just require the calories and sweetness, NOW.
10) Only one pair of shoes even remotely fits due to those famous ankles, (or cankles!) and the even more swollen feet, and you actually consider the thought of wearing flip flops to work...in the winter...with snow on the ground...
11) Dreams are dominated by labor, babies, and more babies, "You have triplets!"
12) You've stopped stepping on the scale because it approaches numbers that are quickly passing your wildest...uhh...nightmares? And passing your husband's all to svelte weight as well.
13) Your answer to the famous question, "When are you due," becomes a countdown to hours, instead of months or weeks, and within days will become "last week".
14) You go shopping at Costco and somehow end up with two carts worth of food, and a bill that starts to come dangerously close to one of your WEDDING Costco trips...the difference is you are feeding 2 1/2 people now versus 200 for your wedding...and you see this as JUST FINE!
14) You go to a bar for one last night out with your hubby to see Tim Reynolds play and you get more looks than the chick who decided to wear her lingerie from last night...and you have this sneaking suspicion it is NOT because of your blossoming chest size...
15) Your daily walk, becomes more of a daily waddle, with plenty of rest stops. You fondly remember this loop being your morning warm-up before running 6 miles....and today you cut even it short...
15) And, to end things, you know you're RIPE, (or the baby is RIPE,) when you feel, in your heart, he is READY to come out, and you are ready too! :-)