Thursday, July 28, 2011

The trials and tribulations of Forrest....

Oh Forrest, the 2 year old. He is quite the mess these days. And is driving us a bit crazy. He can turn from a sweet, lovable, talkative, amazing, interactive boy to a 2 year old hellion faster than you can repeat his name.
Of course, he has had big changes recently in his 2 year old life...
Okay, more than big, to his eyes, I'm sure his little world has been rocked!
I mean, just the new big brother role is enough to cause some major behavioral changes. And then add a new daycare, and then add a two month at home stint with mama and the new baby just PRIOR to starting the new daycare just for a REAL contrast shock, and you've just about got it covered. Oh yeah, and then the constant stream of family and friend visitors, and potty training just for fun....Whew.....
Couple all that with the typical needy, often whiny, very often, (in F's case) tendency to be a bit agro and agressive when he cannot communicate and WHAM, you have a character that is for all intents the Tazmanian Devil  Forrest Fulton!!!
Except this is our son we're talking about. And violent fits of yelling, hitting, screaming are not in my ideal scenario of a peaceful family home. And, more realistically, are not in my scenario of my often messy, chaotic, but loving home of a 2 year old and infant. And....when the hitting is making it's way into the new daycare, well, just not tolerable. Forrest is a very physical kid. Physical in mostly good ways until recently. He can hike up 200 vertical feet on our river trail and loves doing it, loves the challenge, won't let us help him! This hike makes most adults sore for days, and many just avoid it entirely because of it's difficulty. Not Forrest. He's walked over a mile on dirt roads all while pushing his bike when he was not much older than 12 months. For the most part we conquer his need to be physical with good, healthy physical activity. But lately this balance seems a bit out on sync.
I so love Forrest. And I feel so bad for him really in this time of change. Dropping him off to his new kiddie care as he looks at me with sad eyes, or starts to cry right from the get go is absolutely no fun. I also know that this is completely expected for weeks, even months when a toddler starts a new school. I also know hitting is VERY common and very normal in the life of a 2 year old and maybe even beyond. It just doesn't seem so normal when it's so prevalent in our home.
I know a lot of it has to do with his language skills or lack there of. Don't get me wrong, his talking has actually taken off recently. He knows too many words to count and understands most others better than we even realize. But I think he still lacks the ability to express himself when he is upset, mad, scared, angry, etc. And he is very emotional I'm sure in all of the new experiences he is taking part in over the past few months. When that happens, he hits or screams instead of telling us how he is feeling.
We do timeouts, reminders to use his words, etc. but we seem to be at a stale mate.
I also must acknowledge that maybe this daycare is not the right place for our little boy. On paper, it's perfect. They have animals that Forrest loves, (horses, dogs, goats, pigs.,) They're easy going attitude and relaxed way of doing things more closely mimics our lives, and they also have a preschool program which Forrest can easily transition to so we don't have to move him again to another school. reality their setting may include just a few too many kids for Forrest's liking, (he's a kid that enjoys the social interaction of kids but can very easily get freaked out and scared by a group of kids, he likes his personal space...) I'm not ready to throw in the hat and trust the care givers to let me know if they feel this is not a great fit for him, but still, it does make a mama worry.
And worry,
and worry....


Ashley said...

Oh good luck with daycare Katie! Hope things get better! But know you are not alone with a fit throwing 2 yr old, who is just coming into a bossy phase, and throws things, and will hit, is emotional and has meltdowns for no reason and her world hasn't been rocked yet! She also wants to do just about everything herself without help or else she will throw another fit! We are using time out and just waiting for more interest in potty training.

Sheelagh said...

Oh Katie! I'm so sorry things are this hard on your all right now. I feel for you. I know you already know that mosny kids/boys this age hit, but I will confim by tellin gyou we have had trouble with this with Jonah and continue to deal with it. i thik his learning curve is higher in all situations because he has bigger siblings. Just day he will be a role model for Talin and your job will be easier then. ;-)
I know that does very little to help now though.
I want to remind you that you are a great mother. I can see it in all you do and all of your worries too. These tough times are not a reflection of your mothering. It is a tough transition for everyone when a new baby arrives, but also with work and child care changes.
I wish you the very best and am sending mama love to you and calm vibes for Forest.